I got my dental sutures removed today. There’s some extra space in my mouth, owing to two wisdom teeth taken out.
But that’s not why I’m writing today. I’m writing because I watched a YouTube video. I watched that video with a certain amount of expectation. Within four minutes, it blew away all those expectations. I held my breath, paused the video, dropped a happy tear, and ran to B, to ask him watch it too.
I assume you know what vlogging is.
Casey Neistat rules vlogging.
I have watched his videos once or twice in the last couple of years, was never a fan. But it was just last month, after MKBHD – a guy who normally just reviews cool gadgets – reviewed Casey Neistat’s studio. That video had me floored – I became a fangirl, B became a fanboy, we obsessively watched his videos, and I subsequently put up his comeback video title on the wall in front of my desk – Do What You Can’t.
Casey’s videos are known for their aerial shots and near-perfect framing and viewers almost get used to the damn quality of it all. Nerdwriter analyses his videos to death in this awesome video. Nerdwriter says:
Being an editor is a thankless job. Because if you do it right, no one will notice.
I am guilty of getting used to Casey’s videos. But this one video today made me take a long, hard, raw look – a human being in this green world has made something beautiful, and put it out fearlessly for the rest of the world to see.
That’s what anything on the internet really is – a brave attempt at expressing an otherwise shrouded thought. Every original post has fearlessness branded on it – every tweet, every Facebook post, every Insta Story. This realisation made me take a long, hard, raw look at myself for not writing as much as I want to.
I saw this cowardly figure of myself, scared of hitting ‘Publish’ because something’s not perfect, something’s not new, something’s been already said so many times in so many voices other than mine, something’s not worth anybody’s time. I failed to see what they really were: something.
I don’t know how many of my friends or family know this: I write in my journal everyday – religiously, habitually, obsessively. I document the things I do, the feelings I feel, the ideas my brain have, the number of glasses of water I drank, I track the whistles of the pressure cooker while making rajma chawal. I may not read as much as I used to, in school. But I haven’t missed a day journalling since March 2016, which was when I started Bullet Journaling. Writing calms me the fuck down. Any noise, confusion or despair dies a slow, painless death when I open my journal and write something.
However, none of this offline writing (which I do solely for myself and for some Instagram posts) transforms into a blog post.
Which is why I’m doing my 21 days challenge again, this time for writing something every day for 21 days. The aim is to write something substantial every day – nothing perfect, nothing journally. Just things, thoughts, whatevers.